“What prepares men for totalitarian domination in the non-totalitarian world is the fact that loneliness, once a borderline experience usually suffered in certain marginal social conditions like old age, has become an everyday experience of the evergrowing masses of our century.”
Hannah Arendt wrote those words in the 1950s, but concern that modern life has become unbearably lonely has reached a fever pitch in recent years. Basically everyone I know and respect (and many I do not) is worried about a crisis of community driven by individual isolation. The generalized concern draws together several otherwise distinct anxieties about modern American life:
Kids aren’t partying enough or drinking enough or having enough premarital sex.
We spend so much time on our phones and not enough time hanging out with our friends.
A decline in social trust seems to be making our politics unbelievably toxic.
I have a knee-jerk aversion to declensionist narratives, so the widespread gloom about an alleged death spiral in American community life makes me suspicious. To begin exploring whether I’m too Pollyannaish about the decline of formal bowling leagues, my co-host Matt Yglesias and I decided to read Bowling Alone (2000) by Robert Putnam.
Putnam’s book argues that American associational life has collapsed dramatically as highly civic older cohorts have died off. There’s very little in the book about bowling leagues per se, but Putnam documents how religious organizations, unions, Rotary clubs, and local organizations of all types have seen their membership fall. Younger cohorts have eschewed the joiner-ism of their parents and grandparents.
The causes of this decline are hotly debated. Putnam largely blames it on generational replacement but also points to TV and suburbanization, among other factors.
Bowling Alone is fixated on the idea of social capital — that associational life is the way that communities build social networks and norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness. As a result, if people aren’t joining bowling leagues anymore, they’re slowly squandering the collective bank of social capital, with dire consequences for all.
I think it’s trivially obvious to point out that people are spending more time alone. Being alone is a lot easier and more fun than it used to be.
But the leap people take from that fact to speculating about mass loneliness and disconnection, the end of democracy and liberalism, and generalized unhealthiness seems half-baked to me. Being alone, feeling lonely, and lacking social capital are related but distinct conditions.
Recent polling from The Argument showed that very few people identify as a lonely person, which directionally supported findings from Pew Research Center that 47% of people say they hardly ever or never feel lonely or isolated. Just 16% say they feel lonely or isolated all or most of the time.
Even if traditional associational social capital has declined, many of the valuable outcomes Putnam attributes to it seem to have survived through other mechanisms. One moving anecdote from early in the book recounts a man donating his kidney to another participant in his bowling league in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Putnam tells this story to illustrate the value of social capital, but that raises the question: Are there fewer people donating kidneys now? No. In 1997, there were 11,701 donations (3,927 from living donors) and in 2025 there were 27,573 (6,521 from living donors).
Other outcomes Putnam points to like crime, dropout rates, teen pregnancies, and premature deaths among children have changed — largely for the better — in the 26 years since he published his book. And it did not take a widespread revival in associational life. At the end of the 544 pages, I was honestly unable to identify a clear reason why I should care about associational life.
Putnam, like many people worried about social disconnection and the decline of community life, hopes that politics will save us. Throughout the book, he points to increasing political participation as the path forward.
Well, 26 years later and we certainly appear to have a lot more people talking about, thinking about, and working in politics! Has that revived America’s community spirit? You be the judge.
Matt thinks I’m too harsh on Putnam — who correctly understood the threat that watching TV all the time would continue to isolate us — but agrees that some of his prescriptions are wrongheaded.
For more book club episodes:
Next month we’ll be reading F.A. Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom (1944). If you have comments or questions about the book you’d like us to discuss, drop a line in the comments below!
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Show notes:
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, book by Robert Putnam about the decline in American social connectivity that serves as the basis for this episode: Goodreads page, Amazon page
“How NIMBYs hijacked the climate movement,” podcast episode about Silent Spring: The Argument podcast episode
Silent Spring, famous book by Rachel Carson about pesticides that is often credited with launching the environmental movement and served as the topic for a previous episode of The Argument: Goodreads page, Amazon page
“Was Jane Jacobs the first NIMBY?,” podcast episode about The Death and Life of Great American Cities: The Argument podcast
The Death and Life of Great American Cities, book by Jane Jacobs that served as the basis for a previous episode: Goodreads page, Amazon page
“Boy moms and Nazi POWs: How ‘The Feminine Mystique’ changed feminism,” podcast episode about The Feminine Mystique: The Argument podcast
The Feminine Mystique, 1963 book by Betty Friedan that served as the basis for a previous episode: Goodreads page, Amazon page
Making Democracy Work: Civic Traditions in Modern Italy, book by Robert Putnam comparing outcomes in different Italian regions: Goodreads page, Amazon page
“Men, Women and Social Connections,” poll conducted in September 2024 showing 16% of Americans said they feel lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the time, while 47% said they hardly ever or never feel the same way: Pew Research Center report
Polling showing a majority of Americans did not approve of interracial marriage until the late 1990s: Gallup poll
Diminished Democracy: From membership to management in American Civic Life, book by Theda Skocpol about the decline in participatory groups and social movements: Goodreads page, Amazon page
American Association of University Professors’ first-ever national political endorsement for U.S. Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed: AAUP release
“Did cooperation among strangers decline in the United States? A cross-temporal meta-analysis of social dilemmas (1956–2017),” journal article by Mingliang Yuan et al. finding the level of cooperation in studies has not decreased over time: American Psychological Association meta-analysis
The Upswing: How America Came Together a Century Ago and How We Can Do It Again, book by Robert Putnam and Shaylyn Romney Garrett hypothesizing how the U.S. can reforge its social connectivity: Goodreads page, Amazon page
“The elites aren’t who you think they are,” polling showing younger cohorts are more likely to weight career ambitions over family ones: The Argument poll
“Why We Feel Screwed: Immigration, Growth, and the Zero-Sum Mindset,” podcast episode interviewing Sahil Chinoy about his research on zero-sum thinking: The Argument podcast
Polling showing most Americans thinking the country is headed in the wrong direction: YouGov poll
“The Interview: Robert Putnam Knows Why You’re Lonely,” interview with Putnam in which he admits he doesn’t belong to many clubs: The New York Times article
The Road to Serfdom, famous book by F.A. Hayek that will serve as the basis for our next book club episode: Goodreads page, Amazon page
I feel like some books become permanently wedged in the cultural imagination just because they have a catchy tittle and a provocative, single-cause theory of some social problem people widely believe to exist. I feel that’s like 90% of Bowling Alone’s appeal. Few people have read it, but everyone basically agrees with the premise that Americans are too sad these days and should be more social, so you don’t even need to read it to consider Putnam brilliant.
I will say one thing, however, the NYT did an interview with Putnam a year or so ago, and he seemed to have mellowed out a bit. He was less scolding than I expected. One thing he emphasized was that “joining” things should never be a chore. It should reflect your sincere interests, not be something you do because you’re “supposed to.” So it strikes me as very possible that a declining in “joining” is really just a cultural change in tastes and HOW we socialize, rather than a drift away from socializing altogether.
There is no human purpose other than to be with other humans